So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
