No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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