He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
