that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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