I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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