he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
