I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
