Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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