New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
