You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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