I love black thongs
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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