No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
