So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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