Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
