How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
