Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
