She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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