everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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