i just wanna soil my oats bro
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
