I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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