So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
