READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
