No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
