There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just blew my weed a kiss
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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