I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
