what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
