Acid is not a monday night drug
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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