honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
