When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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