It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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