Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
