my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
