Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize