I want you more than these girls want KFC
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
