i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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