it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
