toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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