do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
