Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
