i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
