I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
