OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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