I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
