Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
