Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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