I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
