he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
