I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
