they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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