It was confusing and full of hummus
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
