Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
