can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
