I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
