anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
